Definitively Not( James )


The Suez canal is clear again.

Hackernews was suggesting a wide array of possible solutions.

You can vibrate the sand with the right resonance to “liquefy” the sand allowing for easier passage - similar to concrete.

You can use heavy-lift helicopters to unload the shipping containers to.. somewhere. An empty shipping container is 4 tons. A fully-loaded container is 33.5 tons. The Mi-26 is the largest and most powerful helicopter to go into serial production and it can only lift 14.5 tons. This would be roughly 60-240 minutes per container to offload, assuming the helicopters don’t have failures. At a 20k ton load that puts us at 175 days, give or take to unload the ship.

You could cut through the ship - it’s been done before. It’d be a huge loss for ths shipping company, though. It’d also take many months, and would likely destroy all of the cargo.

You could do what they do with beached whales - just blow it up. Evaporate it with an ICBM. Let’s ignore various nuclear arms treaties and ecological issues involved. LGM-118 Peacekeeper is armed with a 300 kiloton W87 warhead. Unfortunately, the Ever Given is just too big. It would not be completely destroyed as the fireball is only 320 meters and various leftover scrap metal would be all over the place. Upgrading to something that would make the UN sweat a little, though, and we could probably create a big enough crater to allow for U-turns.

My favorite, though… is to just explode a medium sized nuke under the ship. Then another. Then another. Just keep exploding nukes until it’s sailing off into the cosmos. We’d have accomplished Project Orion. Open up the Suez canal and ship goods to Mars in one fell swoop!

In the end, the Suez canal was cleared by high tide, dredging the canal, and a bunch of tug boats. Keep it Simple.